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Author: Zhaya Helenys

  • 21 Days and a Voodoo Ritual Later

    21 Days and a Voodoo Ritual Later

    Back in May 2023, I went to my local Voodoo Manbo’s shop looking for a spiritual consultation. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I definitely wasn’t expecting to go on a personal spiritual journey that was, at times, difficult, but has, so far, been quite rewarding.

    “I guess I wasn’t supposed to be here today”

    For starters, I first went there in October 2022. I’d made the appointment to see the houngan (the resident Voodoo priest). When I showed up, there were a series of inexplicable mistakes where my reservation had been written onto a date that was 2 months into the future, and the confirmation emails, which should have been immediately sent weren’t … they were all just as confused as I was. My response said it all: “I guess I wasn’t supposed to be here today.”

    The Appointment

    When I finally did my appointment, half a year later, nothing was amiss. I secured a purple mouchwa wrap on my head, walked through a large wooden door in the back of the shop, removed my shoes, cleansed myself with florida water and smoke, and was ushered through another wooden door into an expansive, very dark room; lit with only a few candles. I was told to walk towards the back and to sit down in the chair.

    This chair was a bit short for me. I’m a tall woman. So, with my knees at my tits, I sat there waiting for the houngan to speak. As my eyes got used to the light, the translator sat down, spoke to the houngan. He asked my name, where I was from, and why I’d come to see him. Truthfully, I didn’t know how to answer.

    Do I tell him that my father recently passed after me finding him only a year before? Or that I had suffered psychological abuse in my marriage, which was now over? What about the fact that I’d had many dreams where I believe an archangel came to me? My mind was swirling around with possibilities, and I finally told him, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore.”

    What followed was a 3 hour conversation that, looking back, has changed my life in so many ways.

    The Ritual

    The houngan had prescribed for me to build an altar. On this altar I would place 5 dedicated seven day candles. Every night, at the same time, for 21 nights, I was to prepare a glass of water, a glass of red wine, and 2 freshly brewed cups of coffee … one with sugar, the other black. I was to flood the space with frankincense smoke. Douse myself in florida water. Light the candles, and pray with my intentions in mind.

    In order for me to prepare myself for this ritual, I had to bathe from the neck down with sacred salt. I felt that since this was a cleansing ritual, I might as well do an internal cleanse as well. So, no more booze and no more shitty food.

    Every single night, I’d wait for my kid to go to sleep and begin. I’d take the cups from the night before, and dump them outside. And every single night, my head got a bit clearer. My intentions a little less scattered. And in the morning when I’d wake up, I’d actually have the motivation to get shit done. Like DONE.

    I dug up myself a garden, painted my living room, rearranged my furniture, hung pictures, and unpacked/put away most of the moving boxes that I’d been procrastinating about since I moved into my place back in April. I felt pretty accomplished.

    The last night of the ritual was an odd one. I’d bought a white dress, which I’d never wear for anything else, btw. I flooded the house with frankincense smoke. I readied the beverages. I lit my candles. I prayed. Afterwards, I gathered up the candles, which were still lit, and brought them to my bathroom. I had been given a Ritual Bath, containing many different dried herbs, including blue lotus flower. I was to bring 2 liters of water to a boil, dump the herbs into it, cover it, let it steep for 20 minutes, then add another 2 liters of cool water to make it tolerable for the bath.

    So, there I stood, in my bathtub. I set the pot down next to me. Grabbing handfuls of these rehydrated herbs, and scrubbing them from toes to neck. I thought about my intentions, about my experience. I spoke them aloud as I scrubbed. Once all of the bulk was spent, I squished its remaining liquid onto my body.

    I want you to imagine a dark haired woman laying in her empty tub. Candles flickering. Her legs up in the air. She’s pouring a large pot of warm tea from her toes to her neck. The scent is absolutely DIVINE …

    I can guarantee that if that image in your mind is in any way “sexy”, your imagination is sorely mistaken. I was covered in pulpy bits of plant material and expected to air dry. Afterwards, I put on white panties, my white dress, and slept with my hair wrapped up in a mouchwa.

    The Morning After

    I came to some realizations the very next morning. A dream that I’d had several times previously was suddenly made clear to me. In it, I’m walking down Prytania Street in new Orleans; surrounded by large mansions. I walk into one of them, and towards the backyard. There, I find a small pond. It has a boathouse, and a dock running up the left side of it. Each time I am there, I’m encouraged in some way to get into the water of the pond. The sky is overcast.

    In the 1st dream, I just stood on the dock looking down, into the water, which was dark, and cold seeming. In later experiences, I’m in a boat by myself. In another, in a boat with a man who jumps into the water; eagerly telling me to come on in, the water is perfect. But the last time that I had this dream, it was very different.

    It’s a wonderfully sunny day. I walk up to the house. I go towards the pond in the back, and I am met by a tall, dark skinned man. He has dreadlocks pulled half up. He is smiling at me and says, “There are snakes in the water, but they’re benign.” I start to take off my clothes, and step into the water. It’s not cold, it’s the exact temperature of my skin. As I walk deeper into the water, I can see all the way to the bottom with crystal clarity. Snakes with bright blue rattles are swimming all around me, even underneath me.

    I decide to swim just past the boathouse. And the farther I go, the more snakes there are. I’m reminded that they won’t hurt me, but I’m starting to worry about disturbing them. I calmly swim back to the shore, and ask the man if he’s going to go in. He tells me no, that he’d end up with snakes in his hair. He hands me a towel, and as I move my fingers through my wet hair, I find one of them has nestled into my hair. I wake up.

    I’d had that last dream about 2 weeks before I met the houngan. The morning after I checked their website to see if there were any pictures of him. I found some, and HE WAS THE MAN FROM THE DREAM.

    The Results (so far)

    I ended this ritual about a week ago, as of this writing. I can honestly say that my mind is a lot clearer. I live in the United States, and, just in case you’re unaware of everything that’s happening here right now … It’s been pretty crazy. But, I realized that me paying mind to the cycle of Outrage and Fear was utterly pointless. Distraction after distraction. So, here I am. Distracted only by my own procrastination, sure, but I have bigger things to work towards. And, most importantly, I feel a sense of purpose for the first time, in a very, very long time.

    I’m getting ready to go back to school to finish up my college degrees. I’ve signed up for an internship and for another degree certificate. I’ve started to work on mediation and astral projection. I’ve stopped speaking my intentions to others who don’t deserve to know. I am more in touch with my energy; where and to whom I present it.

    The houngan told me to continue with the ritual, but only 2x per week, and I intend to.

  • A Stranger, a Pickup Truck and One Crazy Dream

    A Stranger, a Pickup Truck and One Crazy Dream

    Over the years I’ve had the same crazy dream. It always starts out with me being dropped off by some male stranger, in a beat up pick-up truck, on a very overcast, and cloudy day. I think it’s fall based on the fact that we’re both dressed in jackets and jeans.  I walk through a very tall chain-link fence, to a nondescript building, and I begrudgingly venture inside. 

    Meandering down a series of hallways, I enter into a room where a very tall, red haired man with a high and tight haircut, stands. Dressed head to toe in black, he emotionlessly gestures for me to get onto the wooden contraption in the center of the room. This “contraption” is basically a slide, that he adjusted to be twice my height. I’m strapped to it, raised up and dropped into a pile of rocks. Afterwards, my legs broken, the guy walks over and places stones on my chest. One by one, until I die, and then, I wake up.

    As I had them, the dreams would end differently, a little each time. Initially, I’d die, but as years progressed, I would be able to leave. One dream had me wheeling back outside in a wheelchair, in others I’m on crutches, but I am always greeted with a sunset peeking through an unexpected parting of the cloud cover; the stranger from the beginning of the dream still waiting for me next to his pick-up. 

    The last time I had this dream, everything started as it typically does. The drop off, the fence, the building, the foreboding … But as I walk in to the room with the red haired giant, and he gestures towards the contraption and the rocks; instead of climbing up and being strapped in, I tell him, “I’m not going to do this anymore.” Much to my surprise, that was OK. I walk out of the building; same sunset, same stranger, but instead of me waking up, I get into the truck.

    We drive along rolling hills as the sun sets, behind us, on a horrible past. He tells me he has plans for me. Detailing things that are best kept to myself, for now. But an immense feeling of joy, and sudden sexual attraction, floods me. I look at him as he looks over at me … His hair is sandy blonde, streaks of grey, weathered skin of a middle aged man, and his eyes are closed. I can tell by the lack of roundness beneath those lids that he has no eyes at all. So, instead of recoiling, I’m left with the question of, and it’s the only question, really …

    “How the Hell is this guy actually driving?

  • How Everyday Magic Killed the Romans

    How Everyday Magic Killed the Romans

    The ancient Romans used magic in everyday life; even to kill them.

    According to William Smith’s A Dictionary of Greek and Roman Antiquities, people would regularly consult with magical professionals. Two examples are augurs and astrologers.

    Augurs were trained to read signs in the natural world, like rock formations and wind directions. Necromancy was a large part of that, too. These interpretations greenlit construction projects, marriages, as well as major political decisions.

    Astrologers were mathematicians and mapmakers, too. Each class hired them to make predictions for newborns. Various cults used them to announce start dates for a deity’s festival. The state used them to plan for events. The military used them to plan their campaigns.

    Sol in a chariot drawn by 4 horses (quadriga) – circle of zodiac – Roman mosaic – Bonn RLM 67 captured from Astrology and Art

    Despite the regular use of supernatural pleading, the use of “witchcraft” was strictly forbidden. In The Twelve Tables, a person faced the death penalty if they hired a witch to cast spells on someone, or cast the spell themself. This led to big business for amulets and spells of protection.

    Accusations of witchcraft were used to keep magical and intellectual professionals from becoming too influential. Banishment and murder was regularly used by the powerful to distract from negative public opinion. The murder of Hypatia is a perfect example of this. People with information become a scapegoat for tyranny, even if they’re an integral and respected part of that society.

  • 2021: the year Tarot became fashionable … again.

    2021: the year Tarot became fashionable … again.

    Every day I find some kind of occult related creator content dropped into my YouTube suggestions, so it wasn’t exactly a surprise to see a tarot history video in there. What was a surprise was the fact that it was on the famed French fashion house Christian Dior’s channel … um, excuse me, what?

    Yes, the video is a brief history lesson on the Visconti-Sforza tarot deck . The designer Maria Grazia Chiuri created an entire collection based on the tarot, for Dior’s Haute Couture Spring-Summer 2021; after finding herself doing some soul searching after 2020 forced us all to become recluses.

    I guess this is not the first time that this designer has found inspiration in the cards for Dior … the Spring/Summer 2017 Ready to Wear collection had “Tarot Dresses” … along with cute bags to match. Also, apparently, Monsieur Dior himself was really into having his cards read before each of his collection’s runway shows. Ok, so there’s a long standing connection. Got it.

    Dior hired a film crew to create something that’s a lot like a Jodorowsky epic, but instead of surrealistic montages blowing out the back of your skull for 3 plus hours, this one is only 15 minutes, and is downright spritely in its tone. The rest of the channel’s videos about the collection are interesting in their own right … from short making-of’s about the mini-film to vignettes on some of the individual looks … you can find the whole kit and caboodle in a playlist HERE.

  • Pirated movies of Christmas past: The Adventures of Mark Twain

    Pirated movies of Christmas past: The Adventures of Mark Twain

    It was the 1980s and every holiday season, school would get out on the Friday before Christmas, which meant I’d spend the next 2 weeks with my grandparents while my mom was at work. My grandfather, a computer engineer (read as: middle class hacker), would pirate movies with his coworkers in their downtime. As soon as I arrived to their house, he’d hand me a box filled with VHS tapes, with titles written heiroglyphically on masking tape, plastered to the sides of them. I’d look into the box, see all the tapes, and look up at him, BEAMING with joy. The first film I plucked from the box: The Adventures of Mark Twain.

    For those who’ve never seen it, it’s the tale of the famed American writer, Mark Twain, coming to the decision that humanity is utterly irredeemable, and so he plans his death by meeting up with Halley’s Comet, while some of his most famous literary creations aim to convince him otherwise.

    One of the best scenes is where Mark Twain, Huckleberry Finn, Tom Sawyer, and Becky Thatcher are at a special machine, viewing the various tales that have come from the depths of Twain’s own mind. At one point, they land on ‘The Mysterious Stranger’; a tale that Twain never actually finished, but featured a character he called both “Satan” and “No. 44”.

    My pirated copy of this tape found its way over to my friend Lindsey’s house, which was just 3 doors down. Her mother ooohed and ahhhed over the tape, curiously praising Twain’s literary legacy as “wholesome” and “exemplary of “traditional Christian values.”

    Obviously, having never actually read any of his work, she was quite disturbed when, one day, after I’d left the tape at their house, Lindsey’s mother declared a family movie night. As the movie went on, she proceeded to get more and more uncomfortable, finally ejecting the tape after the scene described above. I wasn’t allowed to play at their house after that due to my new “child of Satan” status. My grandpa just laughed. Frankly, so will you after you watch this awesome film!

    The artistry of the claymation figures is just wonderful, the story is thought provoking and poignant, and despite all the dark content, it’s a great movie to watch with your kids … or you can just send them off to your parent’s place, pour a drink and smoke hashish, and enjoy it. It is your winter time holiday.

    You can watch the full movie here while it’s available.

  • Training AI on 2020 headlines … get a grip, it’s funnier than you think

    Training AI on 2020 headlines … get a grip, it’s funnier than you think

    Janelle Shane started to train a GPT-3 on its headlines, just to see which ones it’d come up with on its own, and I honestly can’t think of a more insightful way to end this ridiculously miserable, hell hole of a year than that.

    Reading through the rest of her tumblog is a jaunt through brilliance … AI creating recipes and recipe reviews, AI creating romantic how-tos based on Victorian tutorials, Halloween costumes that AI thinks your friends and neighbors will notice and hate, even AI generated posts about her AI posts.

  • Mushroom or Musician??

    Mushroom or Musician??

    The description on this latest YouTube find states: “Through the magic, or rather, science of bio-data sonification, this flush of oyster mushrooms get a shot at playing a eurorack modular synthesizer before they become dinner.”

    Sigh … I think I just found my new favorite channel. This guy’s hooking friggin’ cordyceps mushrooms and giant amethysts up to this synth! New channel, but even with only 19 videos in as of this article, I’m subscribed.

  • The Psychic Capitol of the World

    The Psychic Capitol of the World

    On the latest episode of ‘Excuse me,what?’, they visit the people of the “psychic capitol of the world.”

    Cassadaga, Florida, USA … a tiny, 57 acre, unincorporated community, built by a leader in the American Spiritualism movement, which peaked in popularity in the latter half of 19th century. This town has more psychic mediums per capita than anywhere else in the world, and quite an interesting past.

    A Mr. George P. Colby was a famed, travelling Spiritualist medium (1848-1933). At the bright age of 12, he was baptised at a church in Minneapolis. Minnesota, and soon afterward, began to experience the abilities of clairvoyance and psychic healing.

    According to him, he was visited by many spiritual guides, but the most clear and frequent called itself ‘Seneca’ and described itself as the spirit of a great Native American chief. George said that Seneca had told him as a child that he’d found a great Spiritualist community in the American South, and in 1894, that’s exactly what he did.

    The Southern Cassadaga Spiritualist Camp Meeting Association was founded by George in December of 1894, and has remained something of a refuge for the psychically inclined ever since. It even found a place on the US National Registry of Historic Places.

  • AfterSkool with Randall Carlson

    AfterSkool with Randall Carlson

    I noticed the other day that the YouTube channel AfterSkool had created a condensed version of Randall Carlson’s work, and thought you’d appreciate it. Watch that new video featuring Randall Carlson and his work here.

    I had the opportunity to see Randall Carlson in Minneapolis, back in 2014, at the (now defunct) Paradigm Symposium . The lecture he gave was exciting, rife with geology, the occult traditions, semiotics, myths and legends and more. He really encouraged the audience to look at human history from a perspective using modern science and technology to unravel ancient tales and symbols in order to understand ancient human experiences, and apply them to our future understanding of the world around us.

    However, not everyone agrees, of course. A quick Google search of his name immediately brings up everything from questions of his sanity to the breadth and depth of his actual knowledge, and all the Joe Rogan pocasts he’s been on, including the 3 episodes he did with the writer Graham Hancock.

    You can find Randall’s website here, his old YouTube channel GeoCosmic Rex there, and his new YT channel, plus his podcast ‘Kosmographia’ here.

  • The Astrology of Cults, UFOs, and Alien Abductions

    The Astrology of Cults, UFOs, and Alien Abductions

    Acyuta Bhava (Adam Elenbaas of Nightlight Astrology) has a brand new video out about the astrological significances shared with famous cults, UFO sightings, and even alien abductions that all made the headlines. He covers Heaven’s Gate, Stalinism, the famous Betty and Barney Hill case, Carl Sagan’s orginal Cosmos series, even Nike’s Air Jordan logo.

    This video is the 4th in a series he put out on the Grand Conjunction of the planets Jupiter and Saturn, in the sign of Aquarius. You know a 4 part series is gonna be a deep dive, and Acyuta really delivers when it comes to explaining the importance of certain transits for astrology beginners out there, but also brings the heady/good shit for those viewers who’ve already tapped into the insights that a knowledgeable basis of astrology can bring.

    You can find Acyuta’s work on his YouTube channel , or at his website.